God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
