this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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