Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
