My room smells like vodka and shame
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize