My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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