I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
