Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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