He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
