if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
