Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
