that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just pee around me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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