Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize