a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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