Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
