I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
