there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
