we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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