dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
