Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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