Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
