Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
