The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
