using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so let's talk penis.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
