Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
