I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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