is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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