Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
