69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
