So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
