i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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