is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
