Me too!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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