you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
