I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
