Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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