you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
