You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
