Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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