If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
