i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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