these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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