I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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