I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
