Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
