The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
