she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
