Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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