its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize