I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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