Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
