you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
