ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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