I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
