Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight

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(703): Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight http://tfl.nu/2em9

Replies (20) Good night (14041) Bad night (806)
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(816): View more from Missouri

that would be two times in a week with two different guys.

(913): View more from Kansas

they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?

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(816): that would be two times in a week with two different guys. (913): they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right? http://tfl.nu/b8ql

Replies (21) Good night (4198) Bad night (1193)
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(561): View more from Florida

I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"

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(561): I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?" http://tfl.nu/1qvw

Replies (18) Good night (5381) Bad night (1505)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(651): She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations. http://tfl.nu/80vt

Replies (8) Good night (3390) Bad night (797)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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(503): Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge. http://tfl.nu/ays0

Replies (8) Good night (1252) Bad night (2074)
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(519): View more from Ontario

If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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(519): If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes http://tfl.nu/ayyp

Replies (29) Good night (4180) Bad night (1322)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

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(541): I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/tdde

Replies (11) Good night (2905) Bad night (630)
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(518): View more from New York

I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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(518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e

Replies (3) Good night (1713) Bad night (489)
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(207): View more from Maine

I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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(207): I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive. http://tfl.nu/8kly

Replies (6) Good night (1275) Bad night (461)
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(319): View more from Iowa

You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.

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(319): You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/1rw7

Replies (5) Good night (1330) Bad night (784)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

he has this weird thing where he watches me pee

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(864): he has this weird thing where he watches me pee http://tfl.nu/0a5f

Replies (7) Good night (515) Bad night (1685)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?

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(701): Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub? http://tfl.nu/kxla

Replies (6) Good night (941) Bad night (612)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing

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(218): My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing http://tfl.nu/4jwd

Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (365)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk

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(608): Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk http://tfl.nu/yyy6

Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (409)
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(631): View more from New York

Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..

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(631): Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too.. http://tfl.nu/0nji

Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (472)

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