Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

nut hugger

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(904): View more from Florida

my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you

(386): View more from Florida

girlfriend?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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(614): View more from Ohio

the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift

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(516): View more from New York

People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

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(602): View more from Arizona

why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan

(712): View more from Iowa

the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?

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