Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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(248): She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA http://tfl.nu/jnsa

Replies (4) Good night (1036) Bad night (1324)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

(502): View more from Kentucky

Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

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(859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga? (502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine? http://tfl.nu/6ljy

Replies (11) Good night (1753) Bad night (719)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

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(502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?! http://tfl.nu/ajcv

Replies (16) Good night (1361) Bad night (4899)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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(508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6

Replies (18) Good night (2600) Bad night (822)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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(202): i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society http://tfl.nu/5vfp

Replies (55) Good night (1078) Bad night (4101)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.

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(973): Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up. http://tfl.nu/7cla

Replies (23) Good night (4932) Bad night (968)
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(817): View more from Texas

They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great

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(817): They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great http://tfl.nu/5yg0

Replies (8) Good night (1475) Bad night (3633)
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(940): View more from Texas

Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.

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(940): Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/rtd9

Replies (13) Good night (4239) Bad night (914)
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(415): View more from California

I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".

(415): View more from California

good luck with that

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(415): I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco". (415): good luck with that http://tfl.nu/41gz

Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (1085)
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(785): View more from Kansas

What drink are we having for lunch?

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(785): What drink are we having for lunch? http://tfl.nu/pv1n

Replies (5) Good night (1264) Bad night (932)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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(615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s

Replies (3) Good night (894) Bad night (395)
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(541): View more from Oregon

stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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(541): stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms http://tfl.nu/9llu

Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (939)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.

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(570): You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it. http://tfl.nu/ka5y

Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (362)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far

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(931): Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far http://tfl.nu/db1u

Replies (8) Good night (345) Bad night (679)
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(585): View more from New York

I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.

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(585): I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk. http://tfl.nu/g15a

Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (368)

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