he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
