you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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