I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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