Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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