And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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